Tag Archives: Internet searches

The Land of Peculiar Internet Searches

27 Nov

Once again, folks, I present some of the peculiar albeit hilarious internet searches that led people to The Cubicle Rebel blog here on WordPress.com.

It is a sheer joy of mine to see what people enter into search engines. It makes me think my ideal job would be to work at GOOGLE in the internet searches department where all day I could wear comfy shoes and tattered jeans while sipping peppermint tea and howling at the very subjects and search terms that people use to find whatever it is they’re searching for.

This is a mere sampling, of course.   As always, my own musings appear in bold. Stick around for the one that takes the cake at the end.

1.  introvert eager to date (Awwww.)

2.  piece of glitter stuck on eyeball (Um, perhaps you shouldn’t be typing right now.) 

3.  erratic (Seriously, does the internet think I’m erratic? This particularly disturbs me because this word always appears in searches that leads people to this blog. I think I need to see a therapist.)

4.  how to build epic cubicle like a sir (Looks like the guy who thinks he’s a wizard got loose.) 

5.  tissue in pickup truck (WHAT?)

6.  plantar fasciitis typing (So your feet hurt while your typing?) 

7.  pain in her high heels (Who’s “her”?) 

8.  evil lunch lady (Seems many of us have one.) 

9.  why do some people have road rage (Good question. Me wonders these things, too.) 

10.  it people

11.  obesity mcdonalds around the corner pics (So you’re saying McDonalds ITSELF is obese and that it’s around the corner?)

12.  interview pantyhose (I wonder where I can find specific interview nylons.) 

13.  why do people wash their hands (Quite frankly, your’e gross.)

14.  how to get fake job references

15.  creepy lunch lady.

16.  kfc mistake

17.  highheels makes me no pains

18.  my coworker is always in my cubicle (God, I get it. Oh, I get it.) 

19.  wal mart dachshund (Could someone possibly think that walMart sells dogs? Oh-boy.)

And now, Ladies & Gentlemen, the one that TAKES THE CAKE:

20.  my coworker stinks and farts i vomited my lunch

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!

TOO funny, I almost can’t take it.

 

 

 

The Land of Peculiar Internet Searches

2 Oct

Ladies and Gentlemen, People in Cubicles, Cubicle Rebel blog subscribers, here we go again.

The most peculiar, hilarious, disturbing searches that have landed people at this blog since the last posting on this topic…My thoughts appear in BOLD.

1.  man stuck in digestive system

(Whaaaaaaat? Could there have been a cannibal out there? Should I alert the authorities?!)

2.  kfc dude eating from mcdonalds

(Um, how would you know that this “dude” was a “kfc dude”? Scratching head on this one.)

3.  annoying wrappers in the office

4.  office person sighs annoying -sign -signs

5.  cubicle noise hood

(They make hoods for cubicles now? Pray tell.)

6.  starbucks is a cult

(I actually wrote about this before.) 

7.  obnoxious girl popping bubble gum

(Yep, people who pop gum, particularly in office environments, are totally obnoxious.) 

8.  starbucks interview attire

(I’m thinking black pants and a white shirt will do.) 

9.  tongue cleaner boots

(I’m afraid of this internet searcher.)

10.  hey did you know

(Seriously? Who Googles this?)

11.  coworkers who hint for you to get them lunch

12. erratic person

(Cough. Why would this land them HERE? Does the internet think I’m “erratic”?)

13.  waitress must need items

(What the…?)

14.  germs under fingernails

(Someone thinks that germs are visible.)

15. i have itching on my toes around cubicle area

(Cuticle area?)

16.  coworker won’t stop clicking pen

17.  roofing paychecks

18.   success looking at the light of the future

19.  ear plugs for cubicles

(Ooooh. As a noise intolerant, I can totally relate.)

20.  mc donalds cow

(Some people should just stay away from fast food altogether.) 

21.  lol cubicle noise etiquette

22.  annoying colleague chart

23.  germs free workplace

(In your dreams, buddy. Mine, too!)

24.  large shoe cubicle

25.  administrative assistant hell

(LOL!)

26.  white women hr cubicles

(Hmm, didn’t know there were cubicles specifically for “hr”; assuming they mean human resources.)

27.  be nice to the lunch lady

(You got that right! Or she’ll put her musky finger in your mashed potatoes.) 

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! 

Actually there are so very many more I could add but I’ll save the super howlers for next time.

Oh, that was goooood. 

Truly, the People of the Internet do make me laugh. And Lord knows I need to laugh these days. As an unemployed blogger who eats cheese sandwiches on a daily basis.

‘Til next time.

In the Land of Peculiar Internet Searches

2 May

Folks, yet another rolling laughter filled feature of random internet searches that brought people to this blog. Once again, actual terms that landed them here at The Cubicle Rebel:

annoying coworker on the phone

bad breath measurement

kool aid man bubble wrap

coworker constant sighing

bad breath at workplace cartoon

annoying coworker pictures

coworkers always clueless needs help constant retraining

how to tell a coworker gum popping is anoying

crying at work because of boss

coworker always farts on elevator

my boss didn’t get me anything for administrative professionals day

But this one below TAKES THE CAKE:

i was the one who farted in the lift

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! TOO FUNNY!! Must’ve felt some serious guilt there.

Seems there’s a lot of annoying coworkers out there in CubicleVille. Totally clueless gum popping, heavy sighing, loud talking, difficult-to-train, farting coworkers who severely annoy fellow coworkers.

Oy.

In the Land of Internet Searches

24 Mar

Once again, folks, my belly laughs, laughs, laughs at some of the odd/strange/ weirdo / scary internet searches that land people on this blog. Some from this past week:

how to get rid of annoying coworkers

desk thumper

why is popping gum annoying

wear clean shoes

door handle on the peppermint vending machine in german

eyeballing your coworkers

bad coworkers.

TOO FUNNY.

We live in a colorful, colorful world. We do. We absolutely do.

The Land of Peculiar Internet Searches Pt. 2

6 Mar

I’ve been kvetching some about job interviews lately. Well, let me tell you, I’d like to “interview” some of the people whose internet searches landed them on this blog in the past two days.

Two for your pleasure:

“buying kfc with hen in your hands”

“teethjoining together”

Haaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Haaaaaaaaaaaa!!! 

TOO FUNNY.

There are some characters–characters–out there, folks.

Carry on in your cubicle stance. Avoid paper cuts at all costs.

The Land of (Peculiar) Internet Searches

18 Jan

One thing I really love about having a blog is not only the opportunity to belch vexations as much as my heart or fingers desire but being privy to the search phrases that lands people at this blog.

Yesterday there was one that took the cake. TOOK. THE. CAKE.

crawl into the feates positon an whimp

Is that not HILARIOUS?

And there are layers to my thoughts on this search phrase. For instance, what was the person going through that they would search this and what made that phrase land at this blog? Hmm.

There are other phrases that are pretty obvious, this being an employment/office blog, so no surprises there. But weekly I am gifted with the sheer joy of comical search phrases.

Recent others:

annoying coworker who pops gum

firecracker in the mouth

why i hate starbucks

im calling the cops dog

stank breath pictures

kids crying christmas

“pretend to be a team player”

ugly girl in christmas sweater

ugly christmas sweater cake

family of sweater people

I once had another blog where I posted on the subject of b.e-a.r*d-s (embellishments around the letters are deliberate) and you would not believe the traffic it brought and the total weirdos. Freaked. Me. Out. I went from moderate traffic to rush hour in ten seconds flat. It was so disturbing that I had to delete the post altogether. And then wash my hands with extra soap. I felt rearranged. It was that disturbing. Made me look at guys with facial h.ai.r completely different for about two weeks months.

Carry on out there. We’re in this cubicle journey together.