So I was riding in my car the other day pretending that I don’t see the 200,000 mile mark creeping upward and I heard John Tesh (remember him from “Entertainment Tonight”?) on his radio show talking about jobs and those awful personality tests they sometimes require before hiring people.
He made some really good points. Such as…
Personality tests are like (an employer) reading your private diary.(Yikes! DO YOU KNOW THE STUFF I’D PUT IN A PERSONAL DIARY IF I HAD ONE?!)
The key, he admonished, is to be perfectly honest because those tests are structured to know if you’re fudging your answers. Here are a few actual personality test questions to ponder…
Are you more frequently a:
a practical sort of person OR
a fanciful sort of person?
First of all, I dunno. I don’t even like the word “fanciful.” It sounds flighty, like I wouldn’t know that the Frucker file goes under “F”. I mean, “fanciful” in the reviewer’s eyes could mean that I dance on tables with alcoholic beverages in my hands or that I believe that unicorns should be domestic animals. If unicorns are even real.
I mean, here’s an official definition of the word itself:
- (of a person or their thoughts and ideas) Overimaginative and unrealistic.
- Existing only in the imagination or fancy.
I AM over-imaginative (I’m a writer, for crying out loud and an artist who thinks that I’ll be wealthy beyond boundaries in the very near future even though of late I’ve been relying more and more on rolling found coins) and I believe–OH, I BELIEVE–in big things. Big. Even when they’re still the size of salt crumbs. (Um, is that “unrealistic”?)
Here’s another personality test question:
Are you more likely to trust your:
Again, this reeks of a set-up. Either answer could prove skids for you, the desperate, nearly broke job seeker who just needs to pay their monthly bills and have some cheese crackers and powdered tea left over after all the checks are written.
Do you prefer:
many friends with brief contact OR
a few friends with more lengthy contact?
This one right here, this is the one I FEAR. As in tiny bits of fingernails bitten and spat across rooms, right there at the potential job site. Bits of bitten, spitty nail fragments on the floor. They’re trying to see if I play well with others.
Only thing is, these “others” are coworkers, not necessarily friends.
I mean, on the one hand I work well alone. As in put me in a corner away from the office riff-raff and I’ll get TONS of stuff done and feel rejuvenated but on the other hand, I can work in a “team” as long as the team is easy to get along with. Get it?
From this side of things–a job seeking, potential employee–I don’t agree with personality tests. I believe they are flawed and judgmental and unnecessary for most jobs. After all, I’ve worked at the likes of the Department of Justice (headquarters, mind you) and some other big players without aforementioned test and I did just fine filing their boring files and typing their boring documents.
Wanna take a free personality test? Go ahead, do it. See how
dirty you judgmental it feels.
I like the old school days when you were hired based on your resume, eye burning eye contact and a good, firm handshake.