No Time 4 Resume Blunders

15 Oct

Certainly you’ve heard of the recent viral resume blunder that was e-mailed by a 20-year-old York University (Toronto) student.

 

She accidentally attached a photo of actor Nicholas Cage to her resume (not only a photo of the actor but a serial killer-ish shot of him).  The jpeg photo file apparently had a file name that she confused with her résumé file.  It was all over the news, the internet, big hoopla, all that.

Well, even though that was a huge flub, there are similar goofs people commonly make while applying for jobs. Perhaps it’s the fatigue and monotony of Dear Hiring Manager: Please hire me. I can start RIGHT NOW.  

I get it. Oh, I get it.

Over the years I’ve sent out resumes with the wrong company name to the wrong company. (Did that make sense? See what I mean?)

It’s drudgery to apply for jobs.

I mean, you’re begging for something you don’t even want, really. But before I go off on an anti-cubicle tangent, here are some resume flubs or downright resume no’s from around the internet:

1.  Addressing a cover letter with something like “Dear Sir?”  

2.  Putting a smiley face ANYWHERE on your resume. Or any emoticon. This would be cute in third grade, not for a 30-year-old job seeker.

3.  Any questionable e-mail address with your party hard ways or weird hobbies such as “emilyluvsbeer” or “IeatAlligators.”  Even though you may be a weekend-only lush, judgment abounds in the hiring world.

4.  No photos of your cat or dog on your resumes, even when mentioning  hobbies. In fact, don’t mention household or other pets on your resume at all unless you’re applying to work with animals.

5. Even though this is beyond obvious, employers report that they receive ions of resumes with misspelled words, some obvious like “deetail-oriented.”

On a personal note, this has been the job search of my life. I was musing to someone the other day that it was easier for me to find a job quickly when I was a TEENAGER than now. Sure. I just rode my bike over to the local Roy Rogers, filled out an application and was counting chicken thighs in a brown smock within a week.

WELCOME TO ROY ROGERS! I’M JENNIFER. MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER?

2012:

WELCOME TO MY RESUME! I’M JENNIFER. PLEASE HIRE ME. 

The flip side is that Christmastime is approaching so NOW HIRING signs are popping up everywhere. Guess I’ll head on over to the mall and stack racks for $8 an hour. When I walk past the soft pretzel stand on my 10-minute breaks I’ll just inhale the scent of dough since I won’t be able to afford any snacks. 

I will soon rise.

Thanks for “listening.” 🙂 

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