Top 10 Reasons We’re Late for Work

12 Mar

1.  We hate it there.

2.  We grossly mis-estimated the time it would take to assemble a bowl of cereal while texting with two thumbs and keeping one eye on Breaking News!!!! from CNN.

3.  Bad hair day #4,239

4.  We stayed up too late watching David Letterman’s Top 10 List.

5.  The iron was acting funky as if it had a personal beef with you. Thing is, you forgot to turn it on after plugging it in.

6.  We hate it there.

7.  You were calculating how much sick leave you have on a small square of toilet paper in the bathroom, writing with your fingernail, got carried away and lost track of time.

8.  There was a 16-minute porcelain interruption involving last evening’s enchilada with a side of refried beans.

9.  You couldn’t find the other brown shoe to match the one in your hand. Why, it was there two nights ago but apparently it grew its own feet and walked away.

10.  We hate it there.


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