Random Thoughts @ My Random Desks

30 Jan

1.  I wonder how much my boss makes. Sure drives a nice car.

2.  My hair feels crooked today. I know I’ve been to the bathroom mirror six times already but I think I may need to recheck it.

3.  Hmm. What should I have for dinner tonight? I know…I’ve eaten at Subway four days straight. I wonder if they have tiny bits of c.ra.ck sprinkled on certain subs.

4.  Gosh, my fingernails grow slow. So slow I wonder if I’m getting enough vitamins.

5.  When Sandy works late I wonder if her dogs poop all over her apartment. What a disaster it must be to return home to a poop fest at least once a week.

6.  I wonder if they’ll mention my lack of perkiness in my performance appraisal this year.

7.  In two years’ time I wonder how many calories I’ve consumed from workplace vending machines alone. I sure could use a Pop Tart right now.

8.  The cafeteria lady looks like she coughs over the food she makes. Sneezes, too. I once saw her picking her nose while whipping up mashed potatoes with her free hand.

9.  Me no likey standard cheap ubiquitous (particularly workplace) fluorescent lighting. It bites.

10.  They say we should have X amount of dollars to retire on so therefore we should save X amount in our 401(k) for X many years, consider inflation and the future cost of living, carry the one and then divide by eight and insert the square root of fear. Yep, that should be enough.

11.  What color is your parachute?

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