Clueless Annoying Coworkers: The Gum Popper

4 Nov

Every job has one. Every office has one. Or many. If you’re lucky you’ll only have one on each job. They’re always clueless and therefore uber annoying.

Enter Clueless Annoying Coworker #1:

She pops gum




Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!

As if there’s a firecracker in her mouth.

As if bubble wrap is being squeezed by her very teeth joining together.

She sits mere feet away from you.

She hasn’t a clue how many times you’ve thought of throttling her because you return her smile whenever she passes your cubicle.

You’ve actually visualized yourself removing the gum from her very mouth.

Either that or sneaking into her office when she’s at lunch, searching her desk and removing any evidence of her fireworks.

Eight hours a day she does this. The only break you get is when you or she goes to lunch or a meeting or the bathroom.

You can hear that ear grinding, brain rattling popping noise in your sleep sometimes.

Pop! Pop! Pop!

You find yourself musing that whoever sold this Popper that gum should have their very merchant’s license revoked.

It’s gotten so bad you’ve dreamed of her submitting her two-week notice and leaving your ear space altogether.

The anonymous note you sent to her via e-mail…

Um, hi! Could you tone it down a bit with the daylong gum popping? Thanks!

proved fruitless.

This could get ugly.  Downright hideous.


2 Responses to “Clueless Annoying Coworkers: The Gum Popper”


  1. Strange Actual Coworker Complaints « thecubiclerebel - November 29, 2011

    […] actually makes me feel a tad relieved. Now if only I can get rid of the chronic bubble gum popper… 0.000000 0.000000 GA_googleAddAttr("AdOpt", "1"); GA_googleAddAttr("Origin", "other"); […]

  2. Dear Clueless Gum Popper @ the Office… « thecubiclerebel - September 27, 2012

    […] The very sound of that snap, crackle, popping noise nearly eight hours a day has made some of us imagine purely evil thoughts against you.  We almost can’t help ourselves.  We’ve been through this before. […]

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