Once again, folks, I present some of the peculiar albeit hilarious internet searches that led people to The Cubicle Rebel blog here on WordPress.com.

It is a sheer joy of mine to see what people enter into search engines. It makes me think my ideal job would be to work at GOOGLE in the internet searches department where all day I could wear comfy shoes and tattered jeans while sipping peppermint tea and howling at the very subjects and search terms that people use to find whatever it is they’re searching for.

This is a mere sampling, of course.   As always, my own musings appear in bold. Stick around for the one that takes the cake at the end.

1.  introvert eager to date (Awwww.)

2.  piece of glitter stuck on eyeball (Um, perhaps you shouldn’t be typing right now.) 

3.  erratic (Seriously, does the internet think I’m erratic? This particularly disturbs me because this word always appears in searches that leads people to this blog. I think I need to see a therapist.)

4.  how to build epic cubicle like a sir (Looks like the guy who thinks he’s a wizard got loose.) 

5.  tissue in pickup truck (WHAT?)

6.  plantar fasciitis typing (So your feet hurt while your typing?) 

7.  pain in her high heels (Who’s “her”?) 

8.  evil lunch lady (Seems many of us have one.) 

9.  why do some people have road rage (Good question. Me wonders these things, too.) 

10.  it people

11.  obesity mcdonalds around the corner pics (So you’re saying McDonalds ITSELF is obese and that it’s around the corner?)

12.  interview pantyhose (I wonder where I can find specific interview nylons.) 

13.  why do people wash their hands (Quite frankly, your’e gross.)

14.  how to get fake job references

15.  creepy lunch lady.

16.  kfc mistake

17.  highheels makes me no pains

18.  my coworker is always in my cubicle (God, I get it. Oh, I get it.) 

19.  wal mart dachshund (Could someone possibly think that walMart sells dogs? Oh-boy.)

And now, Ladies & Gentlemen, the one that TAKES THE CAKE:

20.  my coworker stinks and farts i vomited my lunch

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!

TOO funny, I almost can’t take it.

Ladies and Gentlemen, People in Cubicles, Cubicle Rebel blog subscribers, here we go again.

The most peculiar, hilarious, disturbing searches that have landed people at this blog since the last posting on this topic…My thoughts appear in BOLD.

1.  man stuck in digestive system

(Whaaaaaaat? Could there have been a cannibal out there? Should I alert the authorities?!)

2.  kfc dude eating from mcdonalds

(Um, how would you know that this “dude” was a “kfc dude”? Scratching head on this one.)

3.  annoying wrappers in the office

4.  office person sighs annoying -sign -signs

5.  cubicle noise hood

(They make hoods for cubicles now? Pray tell.)

6.  starbucks is a cult

(I actually wrote about this before.) 

7.  obnoxious girl popping bubble gum

(Yep, people who pop gum, particularly in office environments, are totally obnoxious.) 

8.  starbucks interview attire

(I’m thinking black pants and a white shirt will do.) 

9.  tongue cleaner boots

(I’m afraid of this internet searcher.)

10.  hey did you know

(Seriously? Who Googles this?)

11.  coworkers who hint for you to get them lunch

12. erratic person

(Cough. Why would this land them HERE? Does the internet think I’m “erratic”?)

13.  waitress must need items

(What the…?)

14.  germs under fingernails

(Someone thinks that germs are visible.)

15. i have itching on my toes around cubicle area

(Cuticle area?)

16.  coworker won’t stop clicking pen

17.  roofing paychecks

18.   success looking at the light of the future

19.  ear plugs for cubicles

(Ooooh. As a noise intolerant, I can totally relate.)

20.  mc donalds cow

(Some people should just stay away from fast food altogether.) 

21.  lol cubicle noise etiquette

22.  annoying colleague chart

23.  germs free workplace

(In your dreams, buddy. Mine, too!)

24.  large shoe cubicle

25.  administrative assistant hell

(LOL!)

26.  white women hr cubicles

(Hmm, didn’t know there were cubicles specifically for “hr”; assuming they mean human resources.)

27.  be nice to the lunch lady

(You got that right! Or she’ll put her musky finger in your mashed potatoes.) 

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! 

Actually there are so very many more I could add but I’ll save the super howlers for next time.

Oh, that was goooood. 

Truly, the People of the Internet do make me laugh. And Lord knows I need to laugh these days. As an unemployed blogger who eats cheese sandwiches on a daily basis.

‘Til next time.

Gosh, can you imagine working at Google’s search terms department and actually reading the GAZILLIONS of search terms people use?

On this blog alone I have experienced total, colossal humor. I mean, I have nearly left my chair laughing, HOWLING at the searches people have used that landed them here @ TheCubicleRebel blog.

I can’t help but wonder who some of these people are and especially what was going on in their day or life the moment they entered a given search term. Furthermore, while some searches leave no mystery I still wonder how some landed them at THIS blog. Read on…(My own musings appear in italics.)

creepy mcdonalds

starbucks cult

public toilet cubicle

dachshund puppies for sale in nashville tennessee (Okkkkk. I don’t think the word Nashville is even in this blog.)

How to avoid annoying coworkers

why cant i hear any fireworks

notes to write down call for bos (Sure hope this person isn’t taking notes for their “bos.”)

germ died

“muffins”

beste barbecue sauce

egg sandwich cartoon

germs on door handles

kfc disgust

kfc crumbs (I’m wondering how one could tell that crumbs are specific to, um, KFC.)

i have server job (Okkkk.)

harga kursi executive staff (Whaaaaaaaaaat?)

using hands job interview

dachshund miniatura sp 2012

noise etiquette in the workplace

called whacky and clueless by coworkers (LOL!)

it’s a short work week

immagini mc donalds

boy and girl beating (Um, not sure what to make of this one.)

gilmore girls caps my pet (Or this one.)

does dr phil have private sessions with individuals (I wonder the same thing!)

muscle chicken (Yikes!)

sherri shepherd teeth (Yikes again!)

annoys me when women refer to female staff as “girls”

teckel dog

my heel hurt when i put it on the floor (Sounds like plantar fasciitis. Been there, STILL there. Ouch!)

pie chart of caffeine’s effects on sportsmen

cubicle roofs (Oh my…There are “roofs” on cubicles now? Boy, I HAVE been away a long time.)

gum poppers in the workplace

my coworker needs too much help

fast food disgusting

coworker who chews ice too loud in the office

website to rant about annoying coworker trying to pull you down

why do i gum smackers/poppers drive me insane (I’ve actually wondered the same thing regarding my COMPLETE annoyance of gum popping.)

my coworker types too loud (Been there, done that. I still remember the job AND the hard typing guy’s name and this was double-digit years ago.)

addressing gum poppers

fonger clicking sounds at workplace

annoying cowirker popping gum

cartoon cheese rolls

annoying coworker bubble gum

china auto (Um, HUH?)

annoying gum chewers

white dogs (What the…?)

gum in cubicle

what to do with leftover muffins (LOL! LOL! LOL! WHO Googles this?)

“co worker typing too loud”

ugly people eating mcdonalds (Should I alert the police?)

colleague chewing gum popping bubbles anoying

unprofessional chocolate chip cookie (Oh gosh, I can’t even SPEAK, this is so funny.)

office hell cubicle

big boy burger logo

tongue scraper before and after

why are cubicles gray

Once again, the gum poppers and loud typers are really grating the nerves of fellow coworkers. I wonder how we can get the word out to these clueless instigators.  I’ll work on that…as a procrastinator.

‘Til next time.

OH GOSH, I SAY.

I did a 30-day pull of the exact searches that led people to this blog and here we go again. My own musings appear in bold beside the corresponding search term.  (Hang on, this is a long and HILARIOUS one!)

cubicle hell

disgusting sandwich cartoon

annoying donut  (I feel sorry for that donut.)

a person who types very loud

annoying co worker on the phone

ed batka  (Um, WHO?)

co worker sighing constantly

mean lunch lady

red doxie puppies

she pop

girl with stank breath

waitress and and the crazy child

cat cubicles boss lolz

coworkers fondeling stories  (OH BOY.)

why does everyone pretend that the tv show “all the kids on the block” has never existed (WHAT in the WORLD?)

team player crap

miniature daschund puppies for sale in nc

halitosis in cubicles

this device will let co-worker know she’s too loud (Uh-oh.)

drug strength

vending machine in egypt

best part of my jobs swivel chair

corn lady

hygiene lunch lady

is it illegal to fart in an elevator (LOL!)

coworker chews ice all day

cult like workplace drink the kool aid

Here’s the one that takes the cake:

“please, i need this job” legs.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

I may never get rid of this blog just for the sheer joy/comedy of the search terms alone. I must say, however, it makes me feel better knowing that I’m not the only one who is so (easily) annoyed by coworkers’ habits and nuances. Hee hee.

annoying coworker on the phone

bad breath measurement

kool aid man bubble wrap

coworker constant sighing

bad breath at workplace cartoon

annoying coworker pictures

coworkers always clueless needs help constant retraining

how to tell a coworker gum popping is anoying

crying at work because of boss

coworker always farts on elevator

my boss didn’t get me anything for administrative professionals day

But this one below TAKES THE CAKE:

i was the one who farted in the lift

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! TOO FUNNY!! Must’ve felt some serious guilt there.

Seems there’s a lot of annoying coworkers out there in CubicleVille. Totally clueless gum popping, heavy sighing, loud talking, difficult-to-train, farting coworkers who severely annoy fellow coworkers.

Oy.

how to get rid of annoying coworkers

desk thumper

why is popping gum annoying

wear clean shoes

door handle on the peppermint vending machine in german

eyeballing your coworkers

bad coworkers.

TOO FUNNY.

We live in a colorful, colorful world. We do. We absolutely do.