Still trying to discover just who took a huge bite outta my aforementioned turkey sandwich. I mean, for all I know they had dental cooties. And who does that anyway? Who takes a bite out of someone else’s food and just leaves it with teeth marks in it?
Are coworkers just animals?
So I’ve been thinking. Maybe next time I’ll soak the turkey in salt overnight and then insert oversalted turkey meat into envied sandwich and wait it out. See if the turkey bite thief will be caught standing over the kitchen sink with his/her mouth pressed up against the running spigot.
Or even better, maybe I’ll soak the turkey deli meat in cayenne pepper.
There’s also a special place in hell for people who:
a) Use the milk you brought for your coffee for their cereal — and then don’t replace it. (Solution: Learn to love almond milk.)
b) Eat your leftover Singpore Mei Fun that you were saving for that late night you’re working
c) Leave their Lean Cuisine in the freezer for months — long after they’ve gone back to getting their lunch at Five Guys
Oh Gawd. Funny, funny, funny. YOU, my friend, GET IT. YOU SO GET IT. I think I love you.