1. Fake it ’til you make it.
2. Just because you hang out with a coworker (eat lunch, smoke, gossip) does not mean you’re friends.
3. Your boss should NEVER hear about your utmost personal life. (Even when there seems to be concern in their eyebrow/forehead area.)
4. Bringing fish to work and microwaving it in a Tupperware container is just wrong.
5. Net pay and Gross pay are soooooooooo different.
6. Having to let loose a #2 at work bites. Really bites. Especially when its stubborn and ornery and just stankola.
7. Cheap toilet paper (especially tightly rolled cheap toilet paper) bites beyond words. Sure, I’d like to see how LITTLE I can gather in my hands to handle my utmost personal discretions.
8. Vending machines are pure evil.
9. Save your vacation pay as much as you possibly can: it’s free money when you leave the company.
10. Retirement takes too long.